


Bandit Life

by chaosruby



Series: The Goddamn Hero [5]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Gangs, Gun Violence, Hyperion, Light Angst, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosruby/pseuds/chaosruby
Summary: Handsome Jack is pissed off at you for travelling to Pandora alone, even after you left him a sweet note telling him you'll be staying at Opportunity. Unfortunately, you did not end up at your destination and now Jack is being threatened to pay up or else you'll become a skin pizza.
Relationships: Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/Original Female Character(s), Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/Reader, Handsome Jack (Borderlands)/You
Series: The Goddamn Hero [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1585330
Kudos: 27





	Bandit Life

**Author's Note:**

> I admit, I rushed this. Don't judge me.

Jack made his way back to his apartment after his long day at the office, humming a silly tune from his excitement to get home and cuddle with you. In one hand he held a cup carrier holding two steaming hot coffee cups, whilst in the other he held a bag of donuts. He had bought your favourite. The icing was yellow for Hyperion, and they had a surprise creamy filling inside that you loved. They were the best donuts you'd ever tasted... though you'd never been anywhere else to taste another. Your parents had migrated to Helios when you were a small child, not telling you even a slither of information about your home planet.

After opening the door, Jack made his way to the kitchen and put down his treats on the kitchen counter. The kitchen was large and stylish, sporting Hyperion colours (yellow and white) and always had the most up to date tech. In fact, the whole of his apartment was always shiny and new, his bed being the only true permanent feature. It was massive. You'd never seen anything like it - and you loved it. You had unofficially moved in with Jack a few months ago when he gave you access to his private rooms. You spent most of your time in his apartment when you weren't working, only going back to your own when Jack was away from Helios for long periods of time, even if he'd prefer it if you stayed safe in his room instead. 

"I'm home, baby!" Jack called out, receiving no answer.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, leaving the treats he had purchased abandoned as he popped his head through the door of every room hoping to find you. He eventually got to looking in the bedroom, the lights were on and he could see the vague outline of something paper-like sitting on the bed. An envelope. Curiosity overtook the man as he approached it, picking it up to see his name scrawled on the front. He pursed his lips together, surprisingly nervous about the contents. He'd had too many women abandon or turn on him, it had caused a bit of damage to his ego when it came to relationships. So he was on edge as he read the note you had left behind.

> _Hi honey,_
> 
> _I'm sure you're wondering where I am? Well, I'm on vacation! After all the hype about Opportunity, and all the times you've been down there, I want to see it for myself! _
> 
> _By the time you read this, I'll be dropping down to Pandora via the moonshot cannon. Please don't worry, I can take care of myself! _
> 
> _I love you, Jack. See you in a few days!_

"Argghhh, fuck!" Jack groaned, jogging to the thick glass window in the bedroom that overlooked the darkness of space.

Jack could see the fire coated crate rocketing towards Pandora at the highest velocity, causing him to slam his hand against the window in anger. His hand hit something of rough texture, which he turned to look at. A piece of paper was stuck to the wall, reading: '_Did you really think I'd go down there in a death crate? I fast travelled, you asshole.' _Jack chuckled at your note, but was still extremely annoyed that you hadn't even told him before you went.

How long had you been planning this? He wanted to wrap his hands around your throat and squeeze until you could no longer struggle against his grip. His anger worsened when he remembered that the fast travel on Opportunity was locked for his usage only. Jack grumbled to himself as he walked out the room, forgetting about his coffee, and made his way back to his office. No matter how angry he was with you, he was going to find your location and make sure you were safe... then he would punish you. 

Whilst Jack was scouring his satellites on Pandora trying to find you, you had found yourself in the middle of nowhere. You looked around, frowning, knowing that you were definitely not in or nearby your destination. However, you were also shocked that it was daylight. Helios was currently in night mode, when Pandora was still full of sunlight.

You typed the line of coding you'd stole from Jack's desk for the Opportunity location, yet all you could hear was a loud obnoxious buzz as it denied you.

'You are not authorized to travel to this destination.' Spoke the female robotic voice of Hyperion.

You kicked the computerised post in frustration, then typed the coordinates of Opportunity into your echo. It was well over a thirty minute walk, so with a sigh you began trudging along in the direction of the new Hyperion base. 

It felt like you had been walking forever, when in reality it had only really been about 10 minutes. You could still vaguely see the fast travel station you had arrived at, but it was a bit of a blur due to the distance and the heat. The sun was beating down on you. This was not how you expected your little trip to be. You could hear the roar of an engine, so you turned to where the noise was coming from and saw a large vehicle heading straight towards you. Being naive and annoyed in your current state, you waved like crazy to get their attention - even though it was already on you. Without any negative thoughts about the residents of Pandora, you hoped the driver would take you where you wanted to go. The car got closer and closer, until you realised. Bandits. 

Without stopping the car, two men with psycho masks on grabbed you, yanking you up and into the back of the vehicle. The loud revs of the engine made it difficult for you to hear what they were saying, but you could tell that their sentences made no sense. They kept their grip on you throughout the whole drive, regardless of your kicking and fussing around trying to break free. 

"Get off of me!" You screamed, booting one of the psychos in the shin. 

In response, he let out a high pitched scream right in your face. The smell of his breath made you want to vomit, you could tell his teeth had never been brushed in their lifetime. You unhappily stayed still for the rest of the journey, eventually coming to a halt outside of what looked like derelict cluster of buildings. You were hauled out of the car and dragged into a large house? You weren't really sure what it was, there were a few mouldy sleeping bags scattered around on the floor, but you ended up being taken straight past the beds as you were pulled up the steep steps to the second floor. A long table took up most of the space in this room, with an obese masked man sitting at the far end of the room. His mask was more like a helmet, it was made of some kind of metal with large black spikes protruding from the top. It would've looked menacing if the man himself wasn't so round. He grunted, like a pig, which made the two guys holding you force you into a chair. They then let go of you, but didn't move from where they were standing to keep you from escaping.

You could feel your echo vibrating against your leg, glancing down quickly to see that Jack was calling you. He was going to be so mad at you, especially now you were stuck in a room with the weirdest people you'd ever seen. 

"Hyperion?" The fat man bellowed at you, gesturing to your clothes.

You nodded, unsure of what might happen next. Your echo vibrated once more, Jack's name flashing on the screen once again. One of the psychos guarding you snatched it from your hip, sliding it down the table to their boss who answered the call. 

"Finally- wait, what the hell are you doing at a bandit camp?" Jack's voice filled the room, "Babe?"

"Handsome Jack's girl, eh?" The man snorted, "Picked her up out in the Highlands, a few of my boys want to rip off her gorgeous pale skin and wear it like a trophy. Maybe I should let them..."

"Don't you dare." Jack growled. 

"Well maybe we can make a deal then," Your captor questioned, "We need guns, ammunition and a shit load of money. She's worth it, isn't she? I want the best guns you have. I want to be the best bandit king on all of Pandora! Then you can have her back in one piece." 

Jack's manic laughter could be heard through the speakers, "You've got to be kidding, right? YOU think I'm going to give YOU anything? Filthy bandit scum."

With a swift hand gesture from the pig across the room, one of the men beside you whipped out a knife and slammed it into your thigh. You screamed bloody murder.

"What the fuck was that for?!" You moaned, your eyes watering from the pain.

A loud explosion went off in the distance, alerting everybody in the room. You didn't dare take the blade out of your body, knowing it was keeping you from bleeding out. 

"It's raining lasers! Ahhhh!" Somebody screamed outside, jumping into a car and escaping the area. 

This caused a mad commotion in the room, yet the leader of the camp stayed put. He brought the echo up to his face.

"You missed." He snorted into the microphone.

Another explosion. The rumble was louder this time, indicating the shots were getting closer. Two shots occurred immediately after, the windows shattering from the force of the explosion of the building next to the one you were in. This caused all of the bandits to leave in an instant, fearing that they would be next. Through the commotion, gunshots could be heard. The fat moron could barely stand, making it easy for the Hyperion soldiers who had just thundered up the stairs to aim their weapons at him. A medic appeared next to you, and you let out a sigh of relief as he plunged a needle into your leg, numbing the pain.

As he pulled the knife out and bandaged you up, Jack entered the room. Gun in hand, he walked straight past you and aimed at the large man's head. With one quick pull of the trigger, without giving him a moment to protest, Jack shot the bandit leader straight through the forehead. Then followed up with 3 more shots for good measure. You thanked the medic before getting up, walking up behind Jack and wrapping your arms around him from behind. He pulled away from your embrace briefly to turn around, dropping his gun on the floor to take you in his arms and hugging you tightly. A bit too tightly.

"I know you're pissed at me, Jack but I-"

"Save the explanation for a time when I care - oh wait, that's never. Don't ever pull this shit again, okay princess?" Jack hissed, his tone becoming softer as he continued to speak, "Now, would you like a tour around Opportunity? If you'd have asked like a normal person, it could have been arranged."

You shrugged, "I thought you'd say no. But yes, I would like to see your amazing new city."

"It is pretty amazing." He smirked. 

"Everything you do is amazing." You smiled up at him.

"I know." He grinned, kissing the top of your head. "Come on, let's go before I change my mind." 

Jack knew in his heart he could never stay mad at you. His anger got the best of him at times, but you just seemed to make every bad thing seem okay. You smiled to yourself as his fingers intertwined with yours. The soldiers escorted you both out, helping you into the back of a Hyperion labelled truck. Finally, you could see the city that could be the future for Hyperion. 

**Author's Note:**

> Not my best work ever, but here you go. I can't decide if I want Jack to be a dick in a relationship, or a sweet baby boy. I imagine he would be a kind lover, especially in long term relationships, but part of me thinks after all the shit he's been through, he would be a bit violent/let his anger get the better of himself even though he regrets whatever violence/death he causes.  
Gah.  
I may re-write this at some point, but for now, this is it folks!


End file.
